By the time you walk through the door, the customer has already decided on eighty percent of their purchase. This blog is not a theory, it’s a practical guide to what you can do with the remaining fifth.
Average sales growth for our customers
Completed project
Internationalisation project in the Nordic countries and Europe
First, I’ll tell you about a Thursday morning. Two sellers, same transaction, B2B service, contract value €180 000 in the first year.
Seller A gets the first meeting. He arrives at 9.55. Handshake, speech, coffee. At ten o’clock he opens his MacBook and PowerPoint. He spends 45 minutes talking about his company, his product and 14 reference customers. At the end he asks: “What do you think?” The procurement manager replies: “Thank you, we’ll get back to you.”
Seller B gets the same appointment on a different day. He starts with one sentence:
Before I tell you anything about us, I would like to ask you something. Why did you put out a call for tenders at this particular time? What happened in the last few months that made this timely?
The procurement manager is thinking. That was a question he was not prepared for. He starts talking, four minutes straight. Then another person present adds something. Then a third asks his boss something.
Twenty minutes later, Seller B has three pages of observations in his notebook and has not yet said a word about his product. Three weeks later, he wins the deal. Salesman A has not heard from the customer.
Both are competent and knowledgeable about their products. The difference is one of choice: which one is willing to listen first.
Recent shopper surveys, from Gartner, Harvard Business Review, Edelman and others, tell the same grim story year after year:
Stop for a moment at the last chapter. Six out of ten buyers sitting at your table don’t think you understand them. Until you’ve opened your mouth.
In practice, you have the first few minutes of the meeting to prove that you are not one of those salespeople. How? Simply: you don’t do what others do. Others introduce themselves and start the product demonstration. Others ask superficial questions and just listen, waiting for their turn to speak. Others talk 70% of the time.
You’re talking about 30. The difference is simple. The implementation is not.
This is what a 60-minute first meeting looks like when it’s built on listening.
0-5 min: short introduction, maximum two minutes. Who you are and why you are here, nothing more. Then the first question: ‘Why now? What happened in the last few months that made this timely?”
5-25 min: the client talks, you ask questions and take notes. Three questions are enough: why now, what will happen if you do nothing and who else will be affected? Each of your follow-up questions will come from your customer’s answers, not from a predefined list.
25-40 min: refine and mirror. “Did I understand correctly that the main bottleneck is here?” Let the customer fix it. It is the corrections that are the most valuable information in the whole meeting.
40-50 min: only now your share. Ten minutes, focused on exactly what you heard. Not a general introduction but a response to their situation.
50-60 min: next step and one bold question. Agree on a concrete follow-up and finally ask: “If this were not to become a deal, what would be the most likely reason?” The answer will tell you where you really stand.
The script sounds simple. And it is. Yet few salespeople use it because it’s uncomfortable to sit quietly for the first twenty minutes of an expensive meeting. You feel like you have to prove why you were invited.
That feeling is misleading. The client called you because he has a problem. Your job is not to prove you exist, but to understand the problem well enough to solve it.
Five classic situations where a salesperson typically gets it wrong. Go through them and you’ll recognise them in no time at your next meeting.
Situation 1: the customer says “tell us about you”. Wrong answer: “Our company was founded in 2004, we have 85 employees and offices in three cities…” Correct answer: “I’d be happy to tell you. If you don’t mind, I’ll do it in two minutes so we can talk about you. We are a team of thirteen people who have helped twenty companies like yours with the very issue you just mentioned.”
Situation 2: the customer tells you about their problem. Wrong answer: ‘Ah, that’s exactly what we have the X solution for, which does Y and Z.’ The correct answer is: “Can I ask for clarification? When you say the process is slow, what does that mean in practice? At what point does it most often get stuck? Who suffers the most?”
Situation 3: The customer asks for a price before you have understood the problem. Wrong answer: ‘Typical implementation is between €60 000 and €150 000.’ Correct answer: “I’m happy to answer that. But to make the number useful to you and not out of a hat, I need two minutes to ask what it should cover for you. OK?”
Situation 4: the customer asks for references. Wrong answer: ‘There are dozens of references, here’s a presentation with them all.’ Correct answer: “A reference is only useful if it reminds you of you. To help you understand your situation a little better, I’ll name two or three that are worth talking to directly.”
Situation 5: the customer says “no hurry, see you next year”. Wrong answer: ‘Okay, I’ll put a reminder in the calendar and call you in the autumn.’ The correct answer is: “I understand. Would it be more helpful if we talked for a quarter of an hour in two weeks about what might look different then? If not, I’ll leave you alone and come back next year as you asked.”
The common denominator is the same: a salesman who asks before he answers is building a relationship. A seller who answers before asking is selling into an empty space.
The meeting ended, with a thank you, in the car. What now?
Most send a follow-up email that begins, “Thank you for an interesting meeting. As we discussed, our product has the following features…” It goes straight into the trash because the customer read similar ones from three competitors yesterday.
Instead, send an email to show you’re listening:
Hi [first name],
thank you for yesterday. Three things in particular stood out: [customer’s own detail 1], [detail 2] and the fact that [detail 3, preferably in the customer’s own words]. Please correct me if I misunderstood something.
One question that remained: [one clarifying question to continue the discussion]?
I suggest either a short reply to this post or a 15-minute call next week. Which is better for you?
[signature]
This email does four things that a typical follow-up email does not. It tangibly shows that you listened, because it includes the customer’s own details. It gives the customer the opportunity to correct you. By correcting, he or she is already engaged in the process. It asks one question that is easy to answer. And it suggests the next step with a low threshold instead of waiting.
In my experience, messages formulated with this logic are most often answered. Those that start with “thanks for an interesting meeting” rarely get a response.
Mistake one: you talk more about your product than your customer’s situation. Record your next meeting, if the client gives you permission. Calculate how much you talk about your company and your product compared to the customer’s situation. If the ratio tilts in your direction, you’re too product-centric.
Mistake two: presenting yourself as an expert before you have proven it. An expert is recognised by the questions, not the claims. If you have to spend the first five minutes telling people how competent you are, you haven’t shown it yet. You have only asserted.
Mistake three: not knowing what the client wanted to get out of the meeting. The salesman who arrives with his own agenda forgets that the customer invited him for his own reasons. Ask yourself before the meeting: what do you hope the client will have learned after this lesson? If you don’t know, call and ask.
These seem bold at first. That’s why they get the most honest answers, because few people have asked them before.
One: “What haven’t you told me yet because you assumed I wasn’t interested?” To be asked at the end of the meeting. The answer usually reveals one of three things: a discussion with a competitor, uncertain budget approval, or internal doubt about the priority of the project as a whole. All three are worth their weight in gold, but only if said out loud.
Two: “If you were in my shoes right now, what would you do next?” This comes as a surprise because the buyer is used to the seller guiding his thinking. When you move to his side of the table, he starts to think about your interests too. It builds common ground more effectively than any sales technique.
Three: “What can our competitors do better than us?” The scariest of the four, but if you don’t ask, someone else will. Either you hear the truth and can improve your offer or you hear “nothing really”, which is a strong sign that a decision is imminent. Either is better information than guesswork.
Four: “Who in your organisation disagrees with this project?” There is disagreement on every project. The buyer knows exactly with whom. The answer tells you two things: who is doing the inside sales work for you and what counter-arguments he needs to get answers to from you.
This is not manipulation, but respect. They show that you understand how decisions are actually made in the client’s organisation. That’s what separates the salesperson who arrives on time from the salesperson who arrives too late.
Finally, one thing that gets forgotten in the midst of processes and tools: the B2B buying decision is always a human decision, not a corporate one.
At the negotiating table is a person with a boss, a reputation and a career. Research shows that the vast majority of B2B decision-makers feel that a failed procurement decision can damage their professional reputation.
When a customer signs your contract, they are not just buying a product. They buy the assurance that three months later they won’t have to explain to the management team why their choice was wrong.
A seller who understands this sells differently. They don’t say “our product is the cheapest”, but emphasise the certainty of delivery, the references and the fact that no one will ever have to ask why they chose us.
He is selling peace of mind, not a product. And that’s why he wins deals that would be lost at a price to others.
You don’t change your sales style overnight, but you can change your next client meeting immediately.
One. Before the meeting, write down three starter questions: why now, what will happen if you do nothing, who else will be affected.
Two. Make a rule with yourself: for the first 15 minutes, don’t mention your company or product once. Even if it feels uncomfortable.
Three. Take a notebook, not a MacBook. Handwriting sends two signals: you’re listening and you’re there to learn, not to present.
Four. At the end of the meeting, ask: “If this were not to become a deal, what would be the most likely reason?” Write down your answer.
Five. The next morning, send an email according to the above template.
Do this and measure the difference for three months. You don’t need new training, a new CRM system or new packaging. You need a new way to start a meeting and a new way to end it.
One change. Five actions. Next Monday.
We train sales managers and salespeople in solution selling, not on a theoretical level, but with concrete scripts and email templates that can be used as early as next Monday.
